If you know he's having an affair, and you're not going to stop it, and you're not going to divorce him, perhaps you should just live with it. Or see how he feels about an open marriage and go find yourself a boy toy.My husband STOPPED having sex w/me B/C he is having an affair. HELP on advise for what i should do? ?
How are you not ready to divorce him yet? The relationship is over, whether you like it or not, whether you are ready or not. He is having an affair - an ongoing affair, and he doesn't care enough about your feelings to conceal it from you. There is no marriage here, just a farce.
Consider a separation as a way to transition to divorce. Insist that he move out if he cannot honor his wedding vows; remind him that he is still responsible for bills and other payments.
Be glad. Have you any idea whether this other woman has any kind of sexually transmissible disease?
I would strongly recommend that unless she and he get tests done and both come up clean AND haven't had any other partners in a time frame acceptable by doctors, you would be better off refraining from engaging in sex with him.
Get the relationship sorted out to the point where strong friendship and commitment without sex exists, and then you can think about the next step.
I'm sorry that you are going through this but I put my health above my partner having an affair. If you, like me, have children, I intend to be around long enough for them to be adults who can manage without me before I do anything that can jeopardise or compromise my health.
Hire a private detective to get photos of them having sex. Then make copies and place the original in a safety deposit box that no one but you knows about.
Then go door to door and hand copies of the pics to all of her adult neighbors and let them know she is a home-wrecker, saying it calmly and politely. Preferably giving the pics to the married women in her neighborhood with a warning about them watching their husbands around her.
Then go to her parents home and hand them a few. And to her parents neighbors. And to any other adult relatives that she has.
Take a copy to the Church she attends and give it to the pastor and walk out.
Go to her job when she is off and hand out the pics to all the adults there.
Go to where she shops and hand the grown ups that wait on her pics.
Basically bombard her life with truth. The truth about what she is doing.
Then do the same for your husband.
Then get an attorney and file for divorce. Hire a therapist to work through your self-esteem issues. Because you obviously think very little of yourself to wait around for this man to change. Which he won't.
Why are you not ready to divorce? Do you not care about yourself? What types of relationships have you known your whole life, to think this is ok for you to stay with, or think it is all you deserve in life? Right now there is no marriage, and for a year it has not been a marriage. Do not take life for granted any longer. Make today, the beginning of a new, good, life. One where people will respect you, and that you will enjoy to the fullest! Why? Because you deserve it!!
You know for certain that he is having affair and yet you still want to be with him? Why!? What could you possibly be getting out of staying with someone who is doing that to you? I know you can't be happy, especially if he is doing that right in your face. I wish you lots of luck with this one because he obviously knows he can be with you and eat his cake too. Some guys are such douches. Don't let him play you like that because you deserve better. You will know in your heart when you have had enough so until then....
It's hard for me to understand how long you can allow this situation to exist this way. You need sex, after all. People just can't stop - but if you had sex with hubby, you'd wonder how many genital warts you'll be trying to remove in the coming weeks and months. The question is, why aren't you ready to divorce yet?
You don't really make it clear in your question what you actually want here. If you want your husband to stop his affair, I wouldn't count on it happening. You can't control his actions or his decisions, and it's been going on for a year and he won't stop unless he has some serious incentive to do so, which apparently you are unwilling to give.
You may not be ready to actually divorce yet, but you can certainly take steps to make sure you know what your rights would be later on, if you take that path. Usually the first consultation with a divorce lawyer is free.
If all you want is sex, it should be easy enough to find someone...all you need to do is join an online dating service for married women, there are plenty out there and are much more frequented by men than women, so you will have your pick. Try www.ashleymadison.com, for instance.
If you want sex specifically with HIM despite his affair, then you have to be the one who takes responsibility for communicating your desire to him and for making the first moves when you want it. But you will have to treat him as if you were merely dating him and not married...which means using protection all the time and making sure he is current on his STD tests. Of course, that would be the rule no matter who you hooked up with.
If I were you Hun, I would walk away. If he has been seeing someone else for that long, then there is something wrong. It sounds like the same situation my mom is going through. Her and my step-dad have been married for 9 years, but he is seeing someone else, leads her on, doesn't sleep with her, and lives in a completely different town. He tells her he loves her and wants her one minute and boom, then next all he wants is the other girl. I have seem my mother go through H*ll, and I don't think anyone deserves that. Even though you may not be ready for a divorce, it is best for you to talk to him find out what his reasons are, and most likely file for a divorce. It is unhealthy to be unhappy for that long, and you can always find someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated and give you all the things that you need... and not have to step out on you!
Best wishes! I wish you the best!
If he is having an affair, do something about it, to stop it or end it. Give yourself some worth. You deserve to be treated well. You deserve respect. You are his wife. If he can't give you the least bit of respect, then at least you can for yourself by ending his affair. If you can't, then leave him.
You need to have your own affair. It should be with a friend or a co-worker. Let off some steam. Its all bottled up and you are hurt. I wish you the best, but you need to start having sex with someone else. I am being serious. Women are strong these days and independent they cheat back not just wait around for a man.
If you are not ready to divorce then you can wait because you will be one day. You could ask him if he minded if you went out and met someone and this way you would be satisfied. There is a chance that he won't want you with anyone else and try to make the marriage work.
love can make ya do crazy things, but you really shouldnt stay in a relationship like that. if you let him do this to you and you arent doing anything about it, he will lose what little respect he had for you in the first place. personally, i would never let a guy do that to me and stay with him.
There is no advice to help you. You don't really want to be helped. He's having an affair - you don't want to leave. All that's left is what you are doing, which is nothing.
Thank goodness he has the decency to stop sex with you while he's doing his hoochie-coochie girl.
I am sorry to hear about this. Unfortunately, I think you would be wiser to divorce him unless he is willing to stop the affair and go to counseling with you. Before you resume having sex with him, he should be tested for all STD's.
Get seperated. That's not exactly divorce. But, if you still want to b married with him you have to talk to him and see if he feels the same way. Try marriage counseling. Ad if all else fails it's time to let go unfortunately.
Best of Luck.
P.S. You don't deserve to be cheated on.
well you might as well be! i hate to be blunt but he obviously doesn't want to be with you in a sexual aspect in anymore %26amp; i'm sure that will lead to many emotional problems for you and in return they will rub off on him.
Is he still having sex with this other woman? Did he maybe catch something? I say see a counselor. If it is just he guilt inside him then maybe talking about it will help him move past the stupidity of his past. If he's still messing around, then leave him! fast!
Best of luck
If he had an affair he has no respect for you. you need to look for someone who is going to put up with you through thick and thin. He took vows and he broke them. He has to realize he has made a mistake and I don't think he will unless you guys take time apart.
This is too hard to answer without knowing more details. What is the position with him and his other partner- Is she married ? How often do they meet? Do they intend to make a life together ?
Did he tell you about this, or have you secretly found out ?
If hes having an affair i'd leave him. I know your not ready for divorce so maybe you could move out for a while.
One thing, if he realy did love you he wouldn't have the affair (sorry for saying that but its true)
Move on and find a man who desires to have sex with you. Or you could just have your own affair like he is doing to you, sort of a 'friend with benefits' type of thing.
NOT READY FOR DIVORSE YET? WTF? come on woman! what is ready enough for you?? getting HIT? stop fooling yourself. He doesnt deserve you and you should even be thinking of what to do other that Leaving this lowlife!
This question is very disturbing... So, you know your husband is off having sex w/ someone else, yet you ask for help in how to make your husband have sex w/ you!!
Leave him sweatheart. Get a good man!
So let me get this straight ... he is cheating on you and here you are complaining why he wont have sex with you? What is the matter with you? Leave the jerk and dont look back. Have some self respect...
You know what dont let anyone tell you to leave your husband...you can forgive him and he can forgive you...pray about it and do what is best for you.
Sorry, Sweetie. You don't have a husband====you have a room mate, and not a very nice one at that. Dump the creep.
Get ready. This is a useless question. Obviously he is happy elsewhere and you need to get the heck out of there.
Be thankful that he is not bringing home all his ';hook-up's'; bad germs/diseases! Personally, I would not want to have sex with him again. Find someone who cares for you ~ he is out there somewhere!
If he's sleeping around, you don't want to have sex with him 'less you want STDs or you want them passed on to your kids
he is the one with the problem..for yourself, maybe getting some kind of counseling in how to deal with his affair would be good for you
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